Rogue State of Heart.Com

The rest of the story...

nkeene@lwccyork.com (Ned) — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 19:18:56 GMT

Many of you heard my testimony last Sunday morning in church as part of our Christmas story-telling time. It was a blessing for me to share, as I hope it was for you to hear it. In it, I mentioned the guys at this Bible study I went to one fall while I was slowly coming back to Jesus. I’ll now share with you “the rest of the story”, a la Paul Harvey, of one of those guys. I referred to him as the “Air Force guy”.

In my freshman year when I met Jay, he had committed to the Air Force ROTC program. He was gung-ho about Jesus, the armed forces, and his country. He was active at many events, and was unafraid about sharing his faith. By all measurements, he was dripping with leadership potential. Big guy, broad shoulders, and a striking face made him the envy of most guys on campus. He was on track to get into flight school, and his heart’s desire was to fly fighter jets.

After I came to Christ in my sophomore year, I saw him around now and then, but he was getting more focused on his training track with the Air Force. By my junior year, I barely saw him at all. He began dating a girl involved with one of the Christian groups (not the one I was in), and they seemed like a very nice pairing. They got serious all throughout that year and the beginning of our senior year.

That’s when she decided to break up with him.

For whatever reason, he couldn’t handle it. He became obsessed with getting back together with her. She refused. He started stalking her. She refused to even see him. One night, it all came to a head when he wanted to see her and talk to her at her dorm. When she rebuffed his request to come down, he decided to climb the outside brick façade of the building up to the third floor. He got to her window, and when she wouldn’t open it, he punched it with his fist.

Dorm windows are made very strongly – you have college students inside them, mind you – and inside each pane of glass is a tiny reinforced steel mesh that the glass wraps around. That way, if the window breaks, the shards will be minimal, and the window won’t create further damage.

So when he punched the window, his hand crashed through the glass to the metal. It was bloody. Muscles and tendons were ripped. He had to go to the hospital and get surgery. And in the process, he lost some functionality in his hand. Gone was his dream of flight school. Gone was his desire to fly fighter jets. Gone was much, much more than a bruised ego or wounded self-esteem. His world came to a shattering halt like the tiny slivers of glass lying inside that little dorm room.

I still don’t know to this day what it was that drove him to do that. Was it damaged pride at being rejected by a girl when you’re appealing enough by the world’s standards for most women to throw themselves at you? Was it that underneath the bravado and machismo, there lurked an insecure, fragile guy who folded when dealt a tough hand? I’ll never know.

What I took away from that sad episode is that although we all obsess about the outside appearances of a person, God looks at the heart. Similar to what God did to reveal to the prophet Samuel the future King of Israel (2 Samuel 16), perhaps this was another reminder that what we see, and what He sees, can be very different indeed. In Samuel’s case, all of the bigger, stronger, more handsome men of the family were paraded in front of him – and passed over – until David, the young runt by comparison, was selected.

The apostle Paul articulates an amazingly radical worldview when it comes to viewing the inside and outside of someone. He says, “So we have stopped evaluating others by what the world thinks about them. Once I mistakenly thought of Christ that way, as though he were merely a human being. How differently I think about him now!”(2 Corinthians 5:16)

May we be people who do not focus on outside appearances, but fix our attention on the heart and soul of people – the things that matter most to God.

What are you spreading?

nkeene@lwccyork.com (Ned) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 12:00:00 GMT

As I am recovering from a stomach bug from the last couple of days, I found an interesting article in the NYT about Mary Mallon - otherwise known as Typhoid Mary. She was sentenced to live on a desolate spit of an island in the middle of NY harbor called North Brother Island - “a ramshackle Alcatraz” as described by one author. Sounds like a lovely vacation destination.

Typhoid Mary was sent to live her remaining life in the tiny hospital occupying the island -

Not after the first offense...

Not after the second offense...

But for the third offense of spreading the disease amongst the general population.

She was forcibly sent there because officials concluded she was a live healthy carrier of the dreaded typhoid bacteria; and because she worked as a cook, was infecting every family she went to work for. Officials finally concluded she could not live among the general population anymore, and sentenced her to live out her days in isolation and exile on North Brother Island.

When they did an autopsy, they discovered she had live typhoid bacteria in her system, received probably in utero when her mother contracted it and survived, which gave her the antibodies to combat it.

It astounded me that this woman had three tries to start an epidemic, which finally landed her in exile on this tiny lonely piece of land.

So besides being fascinated with virology, my mind went in a different direction. It begged a question in me for all of us:

What are you spreading?

Every one of us is passing on or giving away bits of ourselves as we interact with others and go through the day. We ‘ooze’ or ‘leak’ something about us – a pleasant smile and warm personality, a cranky attitude, a nervousness or anxiety about some potential crisis. We send signals to others through our words as well as our non-verbal body language.

So what are you leaking? What are you spreading? What remains after you depart?

The apostle Paul used the imagery of smell when he called us “the fragrance of Christ.” He said in 2 Corinthians 2:15 that “Our lives are a fragrance presented by Christ to God. But this fragrance is perceived differently by those being saved and by those perishing. To those who are perishing we are a fearful smell of death and doom. But to those who are being saved we are a life-giving perfume.”

After we leave the scene, there should be a lingering odor of our presence. What would that be?

Is what you’re feeling infectious to others? Is your mood and your countenance contagious? Should it be?

Paul asked a great question after his statement: “And who is adequate for such a task as this?” He knew it was not because he ginned up something fabulous, or manufactured a great smile, that made the difference with people. For Paul, it was the reality of Jesus in his life that compelled him to smile, to love, to be the kind of person that leaked joy and strength, that was contagious and unable to be held in, that would spread on its own simply because it was not something that could be locked away or contained.

May we be infectious people of love and joy because of the realized reality of Jesus in our souls.

What do five bucks and ninety minutes equal?

nkeene@lwccyork.com (Ned) — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 12:00:00 GMT

I’ve never been good at math, so I tend to keep my equations simple. My kids are studying algebra 2 and geometry, and I’m all tapped out. I got nothing.

But there is a simple equation I re-discovered this week that works even more fundamentally than those hard-to-memorize calculations from math class. It works tremendously with people; in fact, you could call it the equation of love. It looks something like this:

Time + money = love

In my case: $5 + 90 minutes = act of love to bless someone else

Five bucks was how much I spent at Price Rite for a 10lb bag of Idaho potatoes. Ninety minutes is how long I spent peeling, cooking, mixing and mashing said potatoes (with my own original recipe of 11 herbs and spices, of course). Love is what I experienced and displayed as I took the pan of mashed potatoes and gave it to the servers preparing the food for an outreach dinner held in our city of York by a church we are closely connected to.

What was extraordinary was how I felt like I was handing over my loaves and fishes, and out of it was coming a far greater amount of practical and expressed love than I could have imagined.

Jesus once said, “Where your treasure is, there your heart is also.” What is most important to you is what you love most. What we love shapes who we are and what we are striving to become. When we take our time and money and invest it into building the Kingdom of God and loving other people, we are living out the equation of love.

The most depressing age for a man

nkeene@lwccyork.com (Ned) — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 12:00:00 GMT

I heard this from Arthur Brooks (American Enterprise Institute) last week at a public debate.

What’s the most depressing year of a man’s life?

When he turns 45.

Why?

Because his wife finally concludes he is boring (it took her that long to figure out?)

Because his body is starting to fall apart (after a few surgeries, I’d agree)

Because it’s at that age that most guys recognize that the things they are trained to do and have gone through years of schooling for, and the things they are most excited and passionate about, are actually two different things that may never intersect with each other.

The unsettling realization that “I don’t want to be an accountant, yet we have a mortgage and two college bills to pay” dooms that man into thinking that his life is essentially, over. He is locked into this course of action for the foreseeable future, and it depresses him.

Brooks’ point was that we live in a relatively free society that allows men to change gears and move into a different direction.

My interest is in pointing out that many men wrestle with issues like this without doing deeper heart reflection into their design – their strengths, personality, styles, core values, desires – that could help shed light on what those next steps could be. I’ve seen guys make fatally awful decisions when in that moment of panic or despair.

My encouragement for any man in this position is to not fear that your life is over. God is not finished with you, and He can inspire each of us to great lives and callings - if we're willing to do the one hard thing and surrender to Him.

And I’m 44 right now. So I have one more year of happiness before I get all depressed.

Clay feet leaders and those who love them

nkeene@lwccyork.com (Ned) — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 22:32:46 GMT

In the wake of the scandal at PSU, it’s easy to cast judgment and blame around a number of individuals. Arguably the one we have the most emotion over is the head coach of almost 50 years, Joe Paterno. The unsettling truth of his lack of initiative and accountability has left us saddened and heart sick. Say it ain’t so, Joe.

What we have come to discover is that behind the appearances of integrity, behind the coke-bottle glasses of honor, we found the most disappointing reality: Joe Paterno is human. And humans let each other down. Humans make mistakes. Humans fail.

Most of us can’t go 84 years before we let someone down. That was a gift of longevity. I'm lucky to make it a week before I do something bone-headed that disappoints my wife.

But at some point, every human lets another one down. Maybe it’s not in spectacular ways like this event; maybe it’s in the quiet realization between two people or a small group of friends. But at some moment, we will wrestle with sobering judgment that our best interest, or the best interest of another, was not met – in some cases not even close.

In the case of Joe Pa, it was the shattering truth that he could have done more. He didn’t measure up to our standards, or even his own. He failed at a moment when we desperately wanted him to succeed, and where he rightfully should have. When the news broke, and the sobering certainty sunk in, we had that collective thought of “oh no, not him too.” Yes, him too.

The fault doesn’t lay so much in Paterno as it does in our rendering him semi-angelic. We thought he was above the fray. We thought he’d always give his best and do what’s best. We always considered him untouchable by scandal, untaintable with the muck of human muddle. Now we know better.

What it reveals is that, once again, our leaders will fall short.

They will not measure up.

They will fail when we want or expect them to come through for us.

Their dark sides will be revealed and exposed at an extremely ugly moment of truth.

They will demonstrate themselves to be human.

Only a third of the leaders in the Bible finished well. The rest tubed it, whether through egregious sinfulness or a burnout and fade-away process. That should cause us to sit up and take notice about how dependent we become with the leaders in which we place inordinate trust.

Perhaps that is why we read in Psalms 146:3 the following: "Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save." It also says in 118:8-9 that "It is better to trust the LORD than to put confidence in people. It is better to trust the LORD than to put confidence in princes."

Unfortunately, Joe Pa joins the swelling ranks of many leaders of groups or institutions that have blown it, dropped the ball, or stepped into a trap of self-selection.

The Catholic church has been embroiled in its own leadership crisis for years, amplified now due to the sex scandals in its halls. It faces a daunting future because of the loss of integrity among its clergy as perceived by the general public. Now all priests have to bear the tainted stain of the evil that some did. And their numbers grow smaller in the process.

Other denominations are not immune either. I’ve seen a number of high profile leaders of protestant churches or para-church organizations step down from their role because of moral failure or an abuse of power.

At one point in the last presidential election, President Obama was viewed with almost messianic reverence, as if he could do no wrong. Now, three years later, we see he’s no different from the rest.

All leaders let us down. All leaders are human. All leaders have to fight their own dark issues in their soul. Most do reasonably well. But sooner or later, they are going to make a mistake. They will choose unwisely. They will look the wrong way down a one-way street.

We just need to remind ourselves of Whom it is we can trust without reservation, without the fear of mistakes, without the anxious worry of wondering if someday we will wake up and see that we put all of our eggs in the wrong basket.

The sad saga of JoePa

nkeene@lwccyork.com (Ned) — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 14:37:59 GMT

As I write, more and more revelations of the epic disaster on the campus of Penn State continue to emerge. I have read the grand jury PDF. It is grotesque and gut-wrenching. No person should ever be violated, especially not the weaker members in our society like children. Utterly vile and despicable.

The most heinous aspect of the situation is not the crime itself; it’s the mis-handling perpetrated by some in the school administration once the initial reports were given. Everyone from family advocacy groups to tax-payer lobbies are now pressing for information and a complete accounting in the wake of the revelations released over the weekend.

Unfortunately, Happy Valley is now going to be known as the Land of Minimal Expectations. Or worse.

Swirling through the morass of personal destruction is the reputation of Joe Paterno, vicarious god-father to thousands over the last fifty years he has coached the football team. Joe is not guilty of any legal wrongdoing as of this point. He is not being charged.

But in the court of moral courage, Joe’s been found to be wanting. Faced with allegations on another coach made by an assistant, he did what he was supposed to do—he reported it to his superiors.

But that’s it.

No follow up, no accountability to their handling of the situation. No personal investigation to determine the identity of the kid(s) involved. No questioning of the other coach or anyone else to make sure this was being addressed.

The failure of Joe Pa was in not ensuring that the matter received his highest concerns, for two reasons: 1) it involved someone close to him - an assistant coach he worked with for over 20 years; and 2) the nature of the allegations, even if not spelled out graphically, were such that he should have followed up and received some measure of confirmation that the incident was being fully investigated.

Since Joe Pa did the minimum, and nothing more, he failed to be the leader he inspires his students to be each year.

It reminds me of another scenario where a few people - icons in their community - when faced with the option of going out of their way to help someone, or go out of their way to avoid the moral responsibility to offer aid, chose the latter. Jesus told their story we know today as the parable of the Good Samaritan.

Ironically, if you could have interviewed the priest and Levite in the story after they had skirted past the wounded and dying man in the road, they would have ushered their justification as something like “the law says…” They would have been honored in their communities as men who upheld the constraints of the law and did the ‘right’ thing, according to it. They did exactly what the law prescribed.

The problem is that the law only pointed to minimum standards, not maximum opportunity. The law told them what to avoid. But the intent of the law was to give clearer focus on how to love someone. And in that, they failed. They missed the forest for the trees.

The question as followers of Christ is whether we follow the Law of Love or a love of the law. Following the Law of Love says I need to be compassionate and assist those in need or peril, even at the cost of my own personal scorecard. The love of the law says I must only do the minimum to avoid sticky and troublesome situations.

May we realize that laws are not our barriers to avoid dealing with people, just guidelines to help us know how we can love others who desperately need it.

May we be people who do not hide behind rules and laws, but step out and be people of exceptional moral courage in a dark land of minimal expectations.

Finding Me

nkeene@lwccyork.com (Ned) — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:00:00 GMT

One morning, I read John 1:43 where it says, “The next day Jesus decided to leave for Galilee. Finding Philip, he said to him, “Follow me.”

Very quickly, I discovered that the Lord had some things for me to ponder – so I went back. The phrase that stuck out was “finding Philip”. It was just two words, but it spoke a tidal wave of meaning to me.

Jesus seeks out Philip in this passage. He goes on the hunt looking for Philip. And what I felt that morning as I read and re-read that phrase – he’s looking for me. He’s on the search for me. He wants me, and has something for me. He’s trying to find me.

I found my mind drifting into that moment. I envisioned Jesus searching through the crowds at the market, the morning mist still coming off the trees and sand. He peers around the corners of the buildings, scans the crowds over the tops of the tents – all because he’s looking for me.

Not only is he looking for me, he’s inviting me. He wants me to be with him – with him! He’s holding a hand out, offering to take mine and lead the way forward. He’s got something in store for me. He’s thinking and envisioning a future for me that I would never have imagined on my own.

Imagining that I was Philip, I felt affirmed, valued, recognized, loved, and worthy. I don’t know what I did to secure this invitation, but it was meaningful. It was powerful.

God spoke powerfully to me about his desire for me. Like Jesus looking for Philip, he’s seeking after me. How that thrilled my heart to realize that Jesus—my king, my savior—is looking for me. He wants me. He has something for me. Simple words, seismic effect in my life.

Another thought emerged—how often do I live day-to-day without even kindling the fire of that desire for me? How often do I walk around with barely a nudge towards the reality of that profound truth? It’s not that it’s not true; I’ve just not stopped to appreciate and integrate that potent truth into me. The fire just smolders, instead of burning white hot.

Oh Jesus, speak to me. Thank you for loving me so wonderfully. Keep pouring your truth and love into me. I need it desperately. I am done without it, without you. Don’t let me settle into complacency about how voracious your desire is for me. Keep my fire aflame, and burn it brightly into a bonfire of passion for you.

Open or exclusive?

nkeene@lwccyork.com (Ned) — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 12:00:00 GMT

How open are we to engaging others?

How intentional are we to building new friendships?

How willing are we to allowing people into our time and space?

Jesus was a master at turning interruptions into opportunities. People interrupted him all the time, intruding upon his agenda and events with their own needs. Yet Jesus responded in grace and love, using it as a moment for that person to discover God in their situation, need, or crisis.

We are called to hold in high value the call to relate well with people. Peter Scazzero calls it "practicing the presence of people". Whether it's us opening our homes and lives to allow them in, or going out and intentionally cultivating a relationship with them, Jesus says that people are at the center of God's gracious heart.

We are his beloved. He cherishes us, and delights in our spiritual growth and development. He wants us to blossom as followers of Christ to someday be living "on all cylinders" fully engaged and dialed into His purposes. Living in healthy Biblical community is the key way for us to move down that pathway to live in that kind of connectedness - both with Him as well as with each other.

Jesus my relentless lover

nkeene@lwccyork.com (Ned) — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 16:09:17 GMT

Where would you put your "X" on this spectrum?

Believing this (or doubting this) will make all the difference in your journey with Christ.

Living out each day in the truth of God's great love for you is what is going to sustain you in your spiritual journey.

Be honest - if you're on the left side, don't lie or hide that.

But if so, ask Jesus to give you the desire to move closer to Him.

The Quiet Presence

nkeene@lwccyork.com (Ned) — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 12:00:00 GMT

My uncle and aunt celebrated their 50^th anniversary this summer. It was a marvel to behold: that a couple in their seventies could last together for this long (taking into account life expectancies and marriage failure rates)—and more importantly, that they still liked each other after all these years.

You could see it in their expressions with each other. They were unafraid to touch each other in casual ways; they smiled and exchanged pleasant looks many times; they helped each other with their sentences, thoughts, or ideas. They danced together at the drop of a hat. They genuinely seemed to enjoy being in each other’s presence, and it radiated throughout the room.

Uncle "Stick’s" been an extraordinary relative. The guy is a rock. While not the largest member of the family—he’s actually physically the smallest among his brothers despite being the older one—he’s been the go-to guy, the “steady-Eddie”, the guy who’s quietly in the background, offering a helping hand when needed, working with more than a few relatives facing crises in their life, providing a loving and stable environment for his own family, maintaining an active religious life through his Catholic faith. In many respects, he’s been the quiet presence many families around him relied on and off throughout the decades.

It reminds me of how the presence of Jesus often frames our days and our lives. We of the busy-hurried-rushing-about kind of people, hurtling head-long into our furious thrills or our reckless lows, many times miss the quiet steady pacing of the presence of God around us. In our hectic pace, we may usher ‘prayers on the fly’ as we’re waiting at a stop light for a green light, quickly scan a page of scripture and toss an amen into the ring, or squeeze in a moment with Jesus in between meetings, dinner, and the latest TV fad before collapsing in bed (or falling asleep on the couch with the tube on).

Yet, in the midst of this roller coaster ride of daily living, Jesus awaits. He awaits in love, he awaits in joy, he awaits in great patience for the moments we give Him. He radiates His gracious love for us in even the fleeting moments we spend in conscious awareness of his presence. He is the Quiet Presence that frames our comings and goings, only being noticed (or sometimes sought) when we need it most. But He remains there, and in those moments we need him most, He loves just the same.

At one point, Uncle Stick was sharing a few thoughts with the crowd about memories from 50 years of marriage, when he said: “you know, I am not a Biblical person, but I am remembering a few words that Jesus shared with his disciples in the Gospel of John. He said this: as I have loved you, so you must love one another. As I look around this room, I see the reflection of that here tonight.” Almost everyone was moved by the simple poignancy of his observation.

And there it was—the “quiet presence” remembering the Quiet Presence. Jesus, while He may not have been spoken of (or to) much at all that night, is revealed once again in a simple and powerful way.

The soul is like a wild animal

nkeene@lwccyork.com (Ned) — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 12:00:00 GMT

“The soul is like a wild animal--tough, resilient, resourceful, savvy. It knows how to survive in hard places.

But it is also shy.

Just like a wild animal, it seeks safety in the dense underbrush.

If we want to see a wild animal, we know that the last thing we should do is go crashing through the woods yelling for it to come out.”

--Parker Palmer

Flying (and life) lessons from geese

nkeene@lwccyork.com (Ned) — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 13:00:00 GMT

Learning to love others is part and parcel with what it means to follow Jesus. The command to love God is organically fused with the command to love our neighbors (people).

God has even given us examples in the created world around us of what that looks like practically. If we fail to love others like Jesus has commanded, we've failed to love God the way He desires.

The following based on work by Dr. Robert McNeish

Fact:

As each goose flaps its wings it creates an “uplift" effect for the birds that follow. By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew alone.

For us:
People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

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Fact:

When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front of it.

For us:
If we have as much sense as a goose we stay in formation with those headed where we want to go. We are willing to accept their help and give our help to others.

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Fact:
When the lead goose tires, it rotates back into formation and another goose flies to the point position.

For us:
It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership. As with geese, people are interdependent on each other's skills, capabilities and unique arrangements of gifts, talents or resources.

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Fact:
The geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

For us:
We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In groups where there is encouragement, the production is much greater. The power of encouragement (to stand by one's heart or core values and encourage the heart and core of others) is the quality of honking we seek.

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Fact:
When a goose gets sick, wounded or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow it to help and protect it. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly again. Then, they launch out with another formation or catch up with the flock.

For us:
If we have as much sense as geese, we will stand by each other in difficult times as well as when we are strong.

IX: When the walls come crashing down

nkeene@lwccyork.com (Ned) — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 11:30:00 GMT

Ever have days or weeks that leave you wondering if the floor will drop out from under you, or the sun will scorch you the next time you step outside? We had one last week. On Monday, my wife asked me if we had been undergoing an ‘inordinate amount’ of trials and challenges recently. My answer: “Nah.”

By Friday, I had changed my mind.

Monday – We got news that my 80+ year-old father-in-law hurt himself in the garage, and my mother-in-law couldn’t help him. He cut his head open, and he’s on Coumadin (which thins your blood and makes you bleed easily). It took my sister-in-law (the closest person to them) to drive over, get him to the hospital, and be checked out by the doctors.

Tuesday – the small leak in our basement from a possible bathroom pipe now becomes a puddle and a stream. After each shower, toilet, or sink usage in the main bath, sponges and towels need to be applied to clean it all up. Plumber called.

Also, I get a ‘past due’ bill on a charge that was paid for back in March, but the company cannot figure out how or where. I am left to call voice mails and write letters (again) to tell them I will not pay (again).

Wednesday – The plumber rips out a section of wall from floor to ceiling in the kitchen to get to the 78 year-old main outflow pipe coming from the bathroom upstairs. House is a mess, but pipe is replaced and problem repaired.

I also discover that night that at the bank we were transferring all our money away from to a second bank, they accepted some electronic withdrawals I missed in my preparation of the switch, resulting in charges of $200+. Up till after midnight re-checking all finances for any other loopholes missed.

Thursday – the 55 year-old upstairs toilet seal was broken in the process of fixing the main pipe, so now it’s leaking into the kitchen as well. Another call to the plumber.

Friday – I step barefooted onto a rusty nail that was missed in the clean up after the fixing of the pipes.

By Saturday, I just wanted to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. What a week. And that’s not including the normal litany of teenage arguments, family meetings, soccer and ballet practices, and the normal chaotic behaviors of family life.

In the midst of this, I was exploring in my time with Jesus how God was not only my Creator, but my sustainer as well. Psalm 18: “Your right hand sustains me”. He is both creator and sustainer, and his gifts are even bigger in scope than we realize. Hebrews 1:3b: “He sustains the universe by the mighty power of his command.” What’s that phrase about doing something with one hand tied behind my back? I found the weight and worry of my situation was reduced by the reminder of just how powerful, providing, and loving the Lord truly is. God’s power to provide is incredible.

I also reflected on the ‘gifts’ we often receive from God. Do you realize that everything in our lives is a gift from the Father—even the things we don’t want and didn’t ask for? Yes, that the minutia of contests like broken plumbing pipes or foot injuries. As part of my exercises, I made a list of things I am thankful or grateful for. Most of them were positive experiences, relationship, or characteristics. Only a few were situations that in the onset induced great pain before eventually becoming more stable and developmental. Injuries, relational hurts, or deeply felt losses were for the most part not on the list.

What does that say in terms of how we view what we’re thankful for – especially if those very things were items God used to draw us close to Him, to expose our rogue state of hearts, to reveal his tremendous grace in an even more startling way? My guess is that we often receive “gifts” that might come disguised as problems, crises, or accidents--despite our impulse response to deflect, minimize, or avoid it.

While I wish those things on nobody, can we arrive at a state where, as these events intrude upon us, and as we course through them, we can be content and at peace?

Can we be in a state where we can rest in the presence of the Lord, come hell or, in my case, high water?

Hang Tough, Choose Love

nkeene@lwccyork.com (Ned) — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 12:00:00 GMT

"I have increasing confidence that God will certainly sustain you in this time of suffering. And a person who is in such a time of distress as you needs to look to God for sustenance, even though he may not feel like doing it. All He asks is that you remain faithful.

All I ask is that your will should lean towards love, that you should make up your mind to love God, regardless of your feelings.

And no matter what corrupt desires you should find in your heart, if you will make a decision to love God more than self and the whole world, He will be pleased."

- Francois Fenelon (1651-1715)

The Rug Doctor

nkeene@lwccyork.com (Ned) — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 11:00:00 GMT

Over the summer, one of our cats, whom I will affectionately refer to as the spawn of Satan, decided to relieve itself in the corner of our attic—the same room where I have my quiet time.

Believe me, I was meditating on some imprecatory psalms for a couple of days as we tried chemical upon chemical to clean up the area and eliminate the smell.

Allow me to share a small sample of those verses:

“Daughter Babylon, doomed to destruction, happy is the one who repays you according to what you have done to us. Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.” Psalm 137:8-9

He’s incapable of having infants, so I would have been happy to make it him receiving the due punishment for his crimes. The jury is still debating the ‘final solution’ to this issue.

Anyways, we decided that we should go ahead and do a major cleaning of the entire room, which morphed into the entire house. We started in the attic and worked our way down to the basement. We even did the steps and area rugs to get everything cleaned. It was quite the undertaking.

By the way, this was the first time we’ve cleaned the carpets since we moved in…nine years ago.

We had not made it half-way across the attic when we looked down at the used water and noticed how absolutely BLACK it was. I thought we had struck oil. It was truly a ‘black as sin’ moment.

It got me thinking about how God works in our life when it comes to cleansing and forgiveness. I think many people tend to view forgiveness as the equivalent of running the vacuum cleaner over the rug, and letting the heavier and nastier stuff remain buried and out of sight. We can quickly snag the quick messes, and the rest we leave for another day. But over time, more and more junk collects under the fibers, and over time the reality is that we’re standing on some pretty heavy messes that haven’t been cleaned up, leaving behind stains or other damage that permeates a lingering presence.

But God is not in the business of minimal effort, sweeping things under the rug, or minimizing the work needed to clean up. He runs the spiritual equivalent of the Rug Doctor over our lives, pulling out the stuff trapped below the surface, deeply scrubbing the old stains and lingering crud that has built up over time. Forgiveness for Him is total, but the process is comprehensive as well. He wants us examining everything that qualifies, not just the convenient stuff. It will be an involved work to be sure—but if it is, then the forgiveness can be experienced as comprehensive and total as well.

You know what is an indicator to me that God is drawing out something He wants me to die to my flesh on? I feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, disturbed, or anxious about it. That’s a good indicator that it’s an area I need to examine and ask if God is revealing this to experience the cleansing of my soul.

Francois Fenelon, Bishop of Cambrai in the sixteenth century, once wrote: “It is a good sign of real, God-produced humility when we are no longer shocked by the corrections of others, nor by the resistance within.”

As I allow the Spirit to examine me, if I am resistant or hesitant, or react with agitated emotions, then it’s a pretty good suspicion God is pulling out of me the dark trash that He no longer wants to see hidden in the strands of the carpet of my heart.

After we finished cleaning the carpet that day, we could see the different right away. The attic seemed brighter, as if the carpet was about a shade lighter than earlier in the day. In the same way, God’s cleansing and forgiveness allows us to see our lives as brighter and better.

For those of us in small group communities - See if you can pray for your group, and facilitate this during your times together: to be a place where the thorough healing and cleansing of our hearts can happen, as God greatly desires to initiate.

May your group be a place of great transformation as we experience the presence of God among us.

IX: The Brutal Awakening

nkeene@lwccyork.com (Ned) — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 01:18:46 GMT

I recently started with a new small group-spiritual growth pathway Pastor Brian oversees called the Ignatian Exercises (I’ll call it IX for short). I am excited about my IX group, and what I really like is that for once, I am just a member. I think my IX leader is great, and I’m looking forward to the journey that awaits me and the other members.

The focus of our time involves an intense, vigorous reflection of our inner life – the stuff below the waterline. Using some of the methods and reflections of Ignatius of Loyola, our aim is to plumb the depths of our soul and seek a closer, more transparent and transforming walk with Jesus Christ in the process. By identifying the competing desires and habits of the heart, and gazing into the great love of God, we hope to experience a changed focus, changed heart, and a changed life.

But the process is not for the faint of heart. While it is tempting to have “safe” discussions about Christians in general, glossy ideas from scripture, or vague allusions to “unspoken requests or need”—these are not what we are going to do. Instead, our aim is to be brutally honest with ourselves and our group members, and undergo the awkward moments of personal exposure and disclosure to discover a God at work behind the scenes.

Our first exercise over last week was to take stock of our soul—identify the condition of our “condition.” Mine came with sobering scrutiny. Some of my journaled words included disconcerting adjectives like: disconnected, fragmented, discouraged, undisciplined, preoccupied, and distracted. But that was just the beginning.

As I reflected, I sensed a variety of sentiments swirling around the darker recesses of my consciousness: a wanting of more; an unsettled sense on some directional issues; a knowing that God is good and in charge—but not seeing that translated into personal experience; a wanting to do more and be more – but not seeing what it is, and not knowing the cost involved to make it so.

In the Matrix, Neo is asked if he’d like to take the blue pill or the red pill. Take the blue pill, he is told, and all will be forgotten, and he will blissfully go back from whence he came into a state of continuing mental anaesthesia. Take the red pill, and his life will unalterably be different. He will be awake and alive, full of both the thrills and pain of an animated existence. But he can escape the trappings of a vegetative state that he exists in now.

I think I just swallowed the red pill.

I reflected on what I want in my relationship with Christ, the thing(s) I desired most with Him. That was not such a difficult exercise. I thought about that for a while, made my list and wrote a few things down, then stared at it.

The problem came when I realized what I was asking, and what I brought to the table. I had nothing to offer to make that list anywhere closer to reality than where it was now – notes on a page. I was the proverbial cowboy, surrounded by Indians, and out of ammo.

It’s as if I was a man staring at blueprints of a gorgeous spacious mansion with only a $1.50 in my pocket to pay for it. It seemed like the impossible desire.

But then that’s what faith is – look at the most impossible thing, and head that way. Faith tells me that I am incapable, but with God, all things are possible. Faith says that the thing my heart most wants, intimacy and connection with Christ, I can have—but that I will need to let go of all that I clutch that stands in the way. Faith says that I cannot embark on this voyage with any possibility of success—only by entrusting myself to God in more thorough and comprehensive ways will I find what I seek. But faith says that God is excited and delighted for me to travel this road, and He will empower me to make it to my destination.

As I embark on this journey into the depths of my soul, as well as into the heart of God, I am hopeful that as I come across and am confronted by the varying temptations and distractions of my heart, they will be moments to encounter Jesus, and undergoing his fiery crucible of love to make me more of a man than I am today.

The Blue Polo Gestapo

nkeene@lwccyork.com (Ned) — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 12:00:00 GMT

We homeschool our kids through a local co-op designed in a classical education style. It has been a real blessing for the kids in challenging them to study, memorize, and receive a quality education in which we’re a primary agent engaged in the process. The kids have enjoyed being there as well.

This year, however, the decision was made to implement a simple dress code for the students. The intent was to reduce any concerns regarding brand-name materialism that can affect teens quite easily, and to encourage the students to embrace modesty as a value. For the guys, a simple blue colored polo shirt accompanied by either khakis or jeans was the rule. Simple and clear.

Well now.

You would have thought that we had just implemented Dickensian martial law, complete with stifling curfews and stigmata-inducing penances. March in step, kids; get those goose-step kicks high! Make your Dear Leader proud of you as you march to war as cannon fodder for the motherland!

"Javol, herr commandant. The Gestapo is in total control of the situation."

Today, it’s blue polo’s. Tomorrow, it’s the branding of the foreheads and wrists.

Yes, our real secret intention was to aggravate and annoy the students by imposing such draconian measures of severity as to suck the joy out of life and learning. “Mwwaahhaaa! Our master plan of despair is working! Next, we’re going to institute mandatory calisthenics—while forcing the kids to smile and shout positive phrases like 'we love our parents!' or 'school is great!'"

As you might have guessed, there's been some rumbling underfoot from some of the male students. A few consider it an injustice. Oh the horrors.

So why bring up such a silly notion as “Polo Authority”? Because it’s a simple illustration of our chafing against the rules. Any rules. Doesn’t matter whose or why. The fact that we face imposed limits upon our greatly cherished freedom to do what we want when we want to with borderline fury illustrates our basic human nature that resists the guiding hand of God.

Can’t envy someone else and gossip about them? Uptight. Can’t steal what someone else has worked for? Mean-spirited. Can’t have sex with anyone we want when we want to? Prude.

God’s design since the beginning has been to protect and provide. He wants to take an active role in being our daily shepherd. His intent was never to “set the clock” in motion and leave us alone to our impulses and desires. Before the fall, we were his willing respondents. Now we just say ‘talk to the hand’.

God's perspective is slightly different. He wants us to willingly submit and follow him as He leads. And don't resist - you only end up looking like a donkey (or it's derivative). Check out Psalm 32:8-10:

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you. Many are the woes of the wicked, but the LORD's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him."

Here’s the kicker: we find more freedom as we practice total surrender. As we end the resistance, and accept his goodness, we find more freedom to be the person God’s designed us to be. Maybe more accurately, we find the strength and courage to be the people we never could be when we only could rely on ourselves.

May you find that in complete resignation to Jesus, you discover great joy, contentment, and the ability to be the real you. Even in a blue polo shirt.

Resisting the death of self

nkeene@lwccyork.com (Ned) — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 11:00:00 GMT

"Many are deceived into thinking that the death of self is the cause of all the agony they feel. [However], the more finally and completely we die to self, the less pain we experience.

Death is only painful to he who resists it. Self always resists death, because of its intense desire to live! Self-love fights against death, like a sick man in his last struggle.

The body must die because of sin. But the spirit must die to sin, and to itself. Be sure that your spirit dies first (to itself), and then our bodily death will be as peaceful as falling asleep."

- Francois Fenelon (1651-1715)

The left brainers are just jealous...

nkeene@lwccyork.com (Ned) — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 16:00:00 GMT

What every Ravens fan loves to see

nkeene@lwccyork.com (Ned) — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 11:00:00 GMT

Ben Roethlisberger, being sacked, coughing up the football.